Evidence of love blooming beyond memory — Confronting the time of dementia

 

Precious time with family

Today may seem like any other day, but within our lives, there are moments that are deeply etched in everyone. Among them, the most radiant memories are those spent with family. As time passes and we grow older, these precious memories become not just simple recollections but a mirror that reflects the meaning of life anew. The cherished moments with family warm our souls and often provide comfort even in difficult times. Such memories remain as nostalgia, becoming the driving force that sustains our lives. Treasuring the moments shared with my family is also a way to feel the unchanging love even amid the passage of time. Moreover, these memories subtly convey a message to make ourselves stronger in the midst of our daily lives.

The Reality of Dementia

However, the disease that slowly erases that memory, dementia, presents us with a complex reality. The moment a loved one no longer recognizes me and I find myself fading from their memory— that sorrow cannot be expressed in words. Yet within that, we astonishingly and quietly come face to face with the essence of love once more. The moment a dementia diagnosis is given, the family encounters a turning point in their daily lives. Repeated questions, unfamiliar gazes, and the day when my mother unexpectedly refers to me as 'the neighbor' instead of 'daughter.' It is not merely confusion. Within it lies evidence that, even if memories fade, emotions remain alive. Even in moments thought to be forgotten, love has been quietly blooming somewhere.

Family's Emotions

On the way back from the hospital, the heavy wall of reality comes as a tremendous weight to the entire family. In the time where sadness and anger, denial and acceptance, and hope intersect, the family must face the emotions within themselves. The reality of caregiving tests us not only with physical exhaustion but also with guilt and helplessness. However, through this process, we come to a deeper realization. Pain is never solely one's own, and within it, we silently confirm how precious each other's existence is. Through this process, each person's emotions are naturally revealed, and we experience a catharsis in sharing each other's pain. The family cries together, laughs together, and once again reflects on the meaning of love.

The Relationship Between Dementia and Love

The amazing thing is that the progression of dementia does not necessarily mean a break in love. Rather, it might be the opposite. When one day a mother hums an old song or calls her family with affectionate nicknames instead of their names, we feel the warm traces that still remain in her heart. The laughter in photos, the memories of sitting side by side holding hands, and the songs sung together are tokens of love that the disease cannot take away. The affection among family deepens over time, remaining with us in the form of an unforgettable love. These feelings still exist for those with dementia, and it is important to share that empty space with one another.

Living in the Now of Love

Dementia can erode memories, but it cannot erase emotions. Love is not a accumulation of the past, but a feeling that breathes in this very moment. Therefore, families often find themselves looking at 'the here and now' rather than 'the past.' And within that, they come to realize the true meaning of connection. Each conversation, hug, and smile of today becomes a blessing in life. We come to understand that being present together makes that moment the most precious. Even in the small daily moments spent with family, we can discover great love and recognize that cherishing this moment is true love.

The Beginning of a Deeper Love

The end of this story is not sadness. Rather, it is the beginning of a deeper love. The disease of dementia cannot erase love. It is merely an illness of memory, touching neither emotions nor essence. Instead, love surpasses memory, remaining by our side in a more solid and pure form. As time passes, that love becomes more transparent, and within that transparency, we see eternity. This experience fosters stronger bonds among family members and deepens trust and affection for one another. Love transcends time and exists in every moment.

Living Together

In the end, what this illness teaches us is the meaning of 'living together.' Even if we cannot look back at the past, if we can live this moment together, that is enough. Thus, love blooms today as well. Beyond the faint memories, it remains vivid. Love is not defined by events or words it is a force that grows from deep within. That force transcends illness and renders even the passage of time powerless. So today, please hold the hand of the person you love tightly. Even without words, our hearts can connect.