Romance in the Digital Age: Becoming an 'Emotion to Learn' - An Analysis of Delhi University's Course 'Understanding and Coordinating Intimate Relationships'

Digital age, intimacy, romance

The Era of Digital Intimacy

Instagram, Tinder, YouTube. We are living in an era of digital intimacy. With just a few clicks, we can start a conversation with a stranger, and in seconds, a short video can touch our hearts. However, in such close and fast relationships, how genuinely are we connecting? The speed at which relationships begin is matched by the speed at which they end, and sometimes, all that remains are wounds. Yet, schools have always taught math and science, but they have never taught us how to love or how to overcome a breakup.

New Courses at Delhi University

In an attempt to fill this educational gap, the University of Delhi in India is set to fully introduce the course 'Negotiating Intimate Relationships' in 2025, which raises meaningful questions about the direction of education. This effort to bring the traditionally private subject of 'intimate emotions' into the public educational sphere is not merely a fresh experiment but also an inevitable response that reflects changes in social structures.

Research-based practical education

This course at Delhi University is a 4-credit elective that is available not only to psychology majors but also to all undergraduate students. It is composed of practical content designed to bridge the gap between academia and life. Classes consist of three lectures per week and one tutorial, covering the entire life cycle of relationships across four modules. First, it addresses the progression from friendship to romantic relationships and explores human attachment psychology, integrating classical theories such as Sternberg's triangular theory (passion, intimacy, commitment) into real-life understanding. It then expands to include communication via social networking sites, relationship formation processes on dating apps like Tinder, the characteristics of intimacy shaped by social media, and issues related to privacy exposure and boundary setting. Finally, it academically examines the emotional processing of breakups, the ethics of mutual respect and consent, boundaries regarding dating violence, and prevention strategies, while strengthening emotional literacy such as emotional regulation, boundary setting, and healthy communication skills.

Risks in the Digital Age

The social background that led to the emergence of this subject is by no means trivial. Indian society has been profoundly shocked by incidents of dating violence and murder in recent years. In Delhi, cases where conflicts between lovers escalated into extreme violence have repeatedly been reported. The cases of victims such as 'Komal', 'Mehek', and 'Vijaylaxmi' remind us that romantic relationships should not remain in the private realm but must be recognized as public issues. Particularly, Generation Z primarily experiences dating and communication through social media and messaging platforms, becoming accustomed to 'digital intimacy,' where feelings form and dissipate rapidly. However, this platform-centric communication can lead to misunderstandings, and at times, result in emotional manipulation, online stalking, and breaches of privacy. The new crisis arising at the intersection of digital platforms and emotional issues can no longer be postponed as something to be learned in the home or treated as an individual's problem. Delhi University declares that this issue must be brought into the educational realm, stating that relationships and emotions should also be subjects of learning.

Learning the Process of Breakup

The reason this subject is gaining more attention is because it approaches not only the 'beginning' of relationships but also their 'end' academically. In psychology, one of the main variables regarding emotions that occur after a breakup is 'rumination.' Repetitive rumination can amplify pain and delay recovery, but some research suggests that with appropriate recognition and regulation, it can serve as a catalyst for redefining the self. The key here is the 'Dual Process Model.' This theory posits that healthy psychological recovery is possible when one fluidly navigates between loss-oriented activities that immerse in emotions and restoration-oriented activities that aim to return to everyday life, maintaining a balance. The classes at Delhi University help students view breakups not merely as emotional failures, but as processes that can foster self-understanding and resilience. Ultimately, 'how to handle breakups' is also an important lesson in life and part of emotional literacy.

The Importance of Relationship Education

Relationships have traditionally been considered 'private', and love or separation has been regarded as an individual matter. However, the wounds arising from relationships extend beyond the individual and affect society at large. Mental health issues, crime, alienation, and suicide are generally not unrelated to accumulated emotional problems. The course 'Understanding and Managing Intimate Relationships' at Delhi University brings these private emotions into public discussion and education, posing essential questions about what education should teach. Emotional stability, ethical relationships, and emotional resilience have become core competencies for survival in modern society. South Korean society also faces a gap in emotional and relational education. From adolescence, romantic relationships are stigmatized, and schools focus more on grades and career paths than on emotional regulation or conflict resolution. Nevertheless, human relationships are essential everywhere, and emotional literacy must now establish itself as a life skill. The experiment at Delhi University signifies societal maturity that recognizes 'learning about emotions and relationships' beyond just changes in the curriculum. We are currently witnessing the birth of a generation that learns about relationships.

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